Kim Kardashian West at BlogHer 16. Photo courtesy of Vicky Gou.

Kim Kardashian West was one of the BlogHer 2016 keynote speakers this weekend, much to the chagrin of some old-time attendees who did not see how her brand of celebrity related to what we do as bloggers.

Those folks were wrong. That was apparent when I tried to get into  the ballroom for her session. The room was overflowing with people, many of whom had probably purchased one-day passes just for a chance to see KKW in person. They had to open up additional sections of the room to accommodate all the last minute arrivals, and when Kim took the stage, the room erupted in folks with cell phones, all standing up to get a shot of her.

Believe it or not, I actually knew very little about Kim . I’ve never watched an entire episode of her show (but may have to soon, as her appearance at BlogHer was being filmed for it and I’ll be interested in seeing that). As BlogHer co-founder Elisa Camahort Page interviewed her, it was apparent how relevant a booking this was. Kim Kardashian answered the questions with thought and intelligence – and the audience could see how being a celebrity on her scale really is a full-time job… especially the time she spends on managing her image on social media.

One thing that caught my fancy was the effort she puts into the Kim Kardashian West lifestyle app, which also serves as a central tool for her to manage all her social media platforms. She said she posts to it at least three times a day. “It’s a full time job,” she said.

And that’s when the light bulb went off in my head. I leaned over to Linda and whispered, “That’s what we need.”

Announcing: The Two Drinks Away Lifestyle App

Now, if you want full access to KKW’s daily updates and advice, you need to pay to subscribe. The beauty of the Two Drinks Away app is that we won’t make you do that: You can have all our pearls of wisdom for free.

We will cover all the same categories with tidbits like this:

Donna, Age 60: Note the angle of the selfie. which hides a multitude of age-related flaws. Never take a photograph straight on if you can help it.

Beauty

When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see my mother looking back at me. My face has changed, and so has my makeup routine. Let’s face it (no pun intended!): no amount of lotions and potions is going to get me back the dewy, unlined skin of my youth. So I OWN IT. My face is a map of all the living I’ve done to get here (and if I’m going to be completely honest with you, some of that living was not exactly clean).

I also figured out around then that I only have so much time left on the planet (a realization that is ever more urgent now that another ten years have passed). Every single minute I’ve got is precious now, and I don’t want to waste any of them on some long-ass, expensive, ultimately useless beauty routine. So I do as little as possible: Just some under eye concealer, mascara, and lipstick. It takes about five minutes. Ten if I smudge the mascara, which happens more often than you think, because I don’t see so well without my glasses and I haven’t figured out a way to apply it with my glasses on. (Don’t tell me to get a magnifying mirror; seeing how I look in one of those things ruins my entire day.)

Lately, I’ve been doing the eye makeup routine even on days when I don’t think I’m going to leave the house. It pleases me.

Me and the lovely Liz Rizzo. See how my shmata covers my butt.

Style

If you work from home like I do, you never have to change out of your pajamas. Of course, THAT would make me feel like a slob  – so I spend nearly every day in jeans. After all, my generation pioneered the concept of “dress jeans,” casual Fridays and wearing your favorite pair even after it’s gotten ripped and torn. And now, blue denim counts as a neutral color – it goes with everything. You’re welcome. It’s not our fault that finding a good pair that fits now costs a fortune. Well, actually, I guess it is. I will pay whatever it costs to buy a pair that fits great and makes me feel good, too.

Don’t let anyone diss your preferred style of slacks as “mom jeans.” I can’t wear the same styles as my daughter, and even if I could, they wouldn’t feel comfortable. Remember what I said about precious time? I refuse to waste any of it being unable to breathe because I’ve tried to stuff myself into tight clothes and Spanx. I’m 60 years old. I don’t need to play that game any longer.

To get my look, make sure you pick loose tops that are long enough to cover your butt, especially when you’re bending over or sitting down. Your family and friends will thank you. An additional benefit of a long, loose top is that no one in your family will know that you unzipped your jeans after dinner when the waistband got uncomfortable and you’re rocking it Al Bundy-style.

Linda and her kitchen counter. Really, who’s gonna notice a little dirt when there’s champagne to drink?

Design

We did a kitchen renovation seven years ago, which as anyone would tell you, is an overwhelming project. Fortunately, Linda’s home had undergone a major overhaul a few years prior, and I was able to benefit from her experience. She advised me to make pick a countertop that hides the dirt. I ended up buying the exact same granite top that she got, and it’s been wonderful. Ironically, the spots are camouflaged a little TOO well – even when I’m trying to get it clean, I often miss spots. Success!

Obsessed

These are products and promotions Kim Kardashian West touts. Two Drinks Away doesn’t have any of those, but if you follow our Facebook and Instagram streams, you’d have no trouble figuring out that we are both obsessed with food, drink and travel (a little too much). We shouldn’t have a lot of problems writing about any of those topics for our Two Drinks Away Lifestyle App.

I think the app should also include recipes for cocktails, because when I tell people our site is called Two Drinks Away, that’s what they think they’ll find here

My Faves

These are Kim’s own products ; currently her “Kimoji” and Kimoji Merchandise. Linda has an entrepreneurial spirit and would love to develop some products that we could sell. Maybe we should hunker down and create our very own set of emoji for the over-50 crowd that we can use to terrorize our kids: Perhaps a symbol that would shorthand “Why haven’t you called me lately?” Or an icon to remind them to wear a jacket. I think we can go somewhere with these.

And there you have it! The Two Drinks Away app – coming to an online store near you.