Last Day Alone

Last Day Alone

Well, I’ve certainly done a lousy job writing a post every day.

And, where did the past two weeks go?

Right now I’ve got Philadelphia Story on TV. Kathryn Hepburn was nominated for an Oscar for this film. It’s got Cary Grand and James Stewart. I wonder if young people would enjoy it now. I doubt it. Too much talking of “old” people. Not enough action.

My dad had a couple of lines in Adam’s Rib when he was 15 years old. I guess George Cukor was a distant cousin of my grandmother’s. He gave my aspiring actor father a small role, in which he kept screwing up. Hepburn ended up elbowing him out of the scene.

That isn’t what I was thinking of writing, but I’m trying to let me mind wander as it does when I’m driving. The other night I was driving home from work and multiple ideas popped in my head for posts. They were great thoughts. Brilliant. Of course. What they were, I can’t remember, but they were profound and would have made you realize how clever I am.

So, my husband is at the Lima airport right now and should be on his way home very shortly. It will be about 5 or 6 pm before I see him tomorrow. The travel time is one reason I doubt I’ll see my son in Peru while he is down there, but we are thinking of meeting him kind of halfway in Panama. I have family there and it’s only a 6-7 hour flight from Los Angeles.

I worry very much about my boy, even though if he were described in a newspaper they’d call him a man. He’s 25 going on 26. He’s my boy and will be for a long time.

I’ll have to write again to tell how Peru went, but I can say that from the texts and short phone conversations, I can report that the trip was a huge success. They had a great time and an amazing opportunity to spend some quality father-son time together on a big adventure. Most importantly, I get a new shot glass (and hopefully more)!

So, I have to think long and hard about what I actually did these past two week besides work. Work, by far, took up most of my time. I had the TV on a lot, but it was more to keep me company. I walked the dog on the weekends, but the poor thing has suffered as I did not walk him during the week so he has been stuck in his yard all day and in the house all night.

I’ve done a lot of work on the computer as I started working on a new website. It’ truly in its infancy, so I won’t include a link (at least not at this time). There’s been minimal housecleaning. The only yard work I did was last weekend when I mowed the lawns. Incredibly, as I was getting ready to mow and to yard work as my two friends were over to watch and keep me company, three young girls about 11-12 years old came over with their rakes asking if I was interested in help with the yard. I mowed, which only took about 10-15 minutes, and then sat in the beautiful back yard, with beautiful weather, with my two good friends sipping wine and enjoying the relaxing afternoon. Some things are just meant to be.

Now I’m rambling, but I’m making up for rambling I didn’t do in the past week. I’ll try to write tomorrow. I look forward to seeing the husband and to the weekend.



Still Alone… Day 9

Still Alone… Day 9

I was born into a family of writers, but a writer I am not. So trying to blog, participate in the NaMaBlo, is difficult. It is frustrating because I have all sorts of thoughts bouncing around in my head, but when I sit down to write, I can’t think of anything.

Forcing me to put thoughts (on paper? Can I use that expression anymore?) forces me to expose the lack of depth of my ideas.

Well, I’m off to work, but maybe I’ll try to write more when I get home. If I remember. That’s another reason I’m not such a good writer. I don’t have that burning urge to communicate. But I wanted to get something posted because I know I have to write a lot to maybe force the writer within to come out. After all, it’s in the genes.

Day 5 of 15, Alone for the First Time in 30 years

Day 5 of 15, Alone for the First Time in 30 years

Boy, was that a good weekend. Did I already say that? What was the icing on the cupcake is that it was Daylight Savings Time. (Or was it the end of DST?) Fall backward and get an extra hour goes a long way.

I was feeling pretty good last night after having a restful weekend and feeling a bit productive on Sunday with some chores and odds and ends I caught up on. Went to sleep early to keep my cough under control, but this morning was cold and I slept in until 6:15! I’m almost walking out the door at that time, so it wasn’t a good way to start the day.

Work was work. I like the people, but there are other issues I’m having a hard time managing. I won’t go into detail here, but if someone from the workplace were to read this, it wouldn’t come as a surprise so I’m not worried about writing that. There are just things that have to be worked through so it can be a fun job.

It was getting dark when I left work at 5 and it was dark by the time I got home 50 minutes later. The animals were happy to see me. Dog spit up. There’s always some body fluids to clean up around here from the pets.

Right now it’s still a novelty to come home and eat whatever I want, not have to talk with anyone, watch anything I want (I normally control the TV anyways, but there are sometimes snide comments), and just hang. By myself. It’s Day 5 of All About Me. Will it get old?

Day 4 of 15, Alone for the Very First Time (well in about 30 years)

Day 4 of 15, Alone for the Very First Time (well in about 30 years)

Sunday I woke up feeling good. The cough from the cold I got about a month ago was not as heavy in my chest. It must have been that Xanax I took to sleep. Getting a good night’s sleep really, really helps me with colds. Who would have thunk that those health nuts were right?

I had a very pleasant weekend overall. I don’t ever want my family to think I don’t care or want to be around them. But there’s such a sense of freedom to do what I want, when I want, with nobody asking anything of me. I know it sounds very self-centered, and it is, but the reason I’m enjoying it so much is because I know it isn’t permanent. It’s a staycation for one. Me. Myself. And I.


Days 1 thru 3 of Being Alone

Days 1 thru 3 of Being Alone

I’m on Day 3 out of 15 of being alone for the first time in almost 30 years. I think there’s been the random night once or twice, but this is different.

My husband, Mark, is traveling with our son in Peru for a couple of weeks. So far, I’m digging it. And I bet most people who are reading this are a bit envious. For whenever I tell someone, usually a woman, that it’s just me, myself, and I for two weeks, they get this look in their eyes that tell me they are fantasizing about the experience. I may be wrong, but I think women crave being alone more than men.

When I came home for Day 1, it felt a little weird. What was I going to do? Turns out, I didn’t do anything. Fed the animals, ate some leftovers, watched TV and went to bed. It was boring and I thought about whether or not I was going to waste my great opportunity and just watch TV for two weeks.

Day 2 – It was Halloween so I made sure to get out of work on time because it was going to be an hour and 15 minutes to get home on a big night like that. Came home to feed the dog and then right back out to meet friends for a glass of wine at a new place. This is a couple that we normally see as a couple, but it was perfectly fine being on my own. When I came home, I went to my neighbor’s house to visit. They had a total of three trick-or-treater groups knock on their door. It was a rainy evening. I didn’t miss much.

Day 3 – A Saturday! Showered, paid bills and watched two movies by noon! That was a productive morning in my situation. Took the dog on a long walk for about an hour and then came back to watch more movies while I worked on a new website. I really enjoy those stupid Hallmark movies and even have an idea for one that I would love to develop. Wish I had talent.

I just returned from going back to my neighbor’s where we caught up a bit on some TV viewing. We started watching Sunday night shows back when Desperate Housewives was on. Now we watch Once Upon a Time and The Good Wife. And maybe a Shark Tank here and there. It’s always a good time to catch up on what’s happened during the week, watch TV and do a little gossiping.

I’m not sure I’ll get everything I want to do done tomorrow. I will have to leave the house to do a little shopping and visit a friend who is moving into a new condo. What’s scary to me is how much I don’t want to leave the house. I picture myself growing old and never going out or even showering. I’ll wear sweats all day, or anything with elastic, and will go out once a week to replenish my wine, cheese and prepared meals. I know what I’m capable of and it’s not pretty.